Soulmates Vs. Life Partners: The Astrological Categories of Relationships

Relationships and Synastry (the comparison of two charts) is what first got me interested in Astrology.  I wanted to know what made people different, what made certain people attracted to each other, and why and how could one person feel something for someone, while the other person did not return the feelings?  Why do people react the way they do towards love and relationships? 

I wished there was a book that would just outline and explain exactly where and when I was supposed to meet my “soul mate”, and exactly who that person was so I wouldn’t have to worry so much about, “Is this the one?”

I used to believe Astrology would give me ALL the answers to these questions. But, a lot of times I have found out, just as above, so below: when something looks good “on paper”, it doesn’t necessarily translate that way in real life.

Soulmates Vs. Life Partners

If you’re really lucky, sometimes your life partner is also your soulmate. It’s a tall order and a lot to ask of a person, to fill both roles.  But, that’s exactly what society tells us to expect.  We put a lot of needless energy into trying to change ourselves into being the perfect partner, or spend a lot of time being disappointed when we find out, alas, our partner is only human.

When you do find your life partner, you love them in spite of the fact they are merely human.  When we are in a relationship with a "Soul Mate", however, we tend to have high expectations of our Soul mates and expect them to be perfect.

We expect them to save us from ourselves (and in a way, they do).  We have a hard time relaxing and just letting things "be" with our Soul mates, because we are meant to transform through them.  A lot of times, a Soul mate is delivered to us by the Universe to teach us some lesson about ourselves.

The Synastry of Marriage/Life Partners

If you decide you’re going "marry" someone, to live with someone 24/7, integrate all your habits, routines, bank accounts, families, and life plans together with this person, you need to really be able to relate to that person in an easy and balanced way. 


The Sun (where we shine) and the Moon (What we need) and Venus (Our values and relationships), as well as the Seventh House (partnerships) and the First House (how I approach life) is where we look to see if there are marriage connections between two people. 

Saturn connections are also important in a marriage, as Saturn will make you take the relationship seriously.  Saturn can add a formality to the relationship that forces you to respect one another.  Saturn can also be involved in a “soul mate” connection, as Saturn makes it difficult to turn our backs on someone even when the relationship is difficult.

The Moon is traditionally associated with “The Wife/Mother” energy, while the Sun is “The Husband/Father” (as opposed to Venus and Mars, who represent the energies of courtship and dating and having great sex). 

The most traditional husband/wife connection would happen when a man’s Sun is in the same place/sign as a Woman’s moon. Also, having one or the others' Sun, Moon or Venus fall in their partner’s 7th or 1st house can lead to an instant feeling of comfort and wanting to “settle down” with someone as well.

Venus tells us what kind of relationship we want and what things are really important/valuable to us in a relationship.  If it’s in Aries, we want to be active together, in Taurus, we’ll make money and set a foundation, in Aquarius, we want to reinvent our relationship with each other over and over, etc.  While Venus attracts us, the Sun, Moon and 7th house connections are where we tend to look, astrologically, for a good life partner.

A life partner compliments who you already are, and as mentioned earlier, tend to manifest through your 7th house.  They are your best friends and things feel comfortable and easy when you’re with them, perhaps because there is good karmic energy between you already from “a past life”.  You enjoy the things you have in common with your life partner, and you can enjoy your differences as well.

However, life partners may not always challenge you to learn and grow the way a “Soul mate” connection does. 



The Synastry of “Karmic Soul Mates”

Soul mate connections are intense and passionate. When you meet your soul mate, you feel like they fulfill a missing piece.  You wonder how you ever lived before you met them. These feelings can make it difficult to live 24/7 with your soulmate, however, because the connection is so intense, it can be overbearing.

While our life partners connect through the energy of the 7th house "balance, fairness, partnership", Soul mates usually come to us through our 5th and 8th houses and are about passion, romance, ego and karmic connections.  Soul mates also tend to connect to us through our Uranus ("love at first sight") Neptune ("We can read each others' minds") and Pluto ("Sex so passionate I'm transforming into someone else").

Throw in some of these “Soul Mate” connections with a person who you connect with through your marriage house, and you may find those relationships have a hard time translating into real life.

Mars and Jupiter, planets that bring sexual and physical attraction, are helpful in a marriage, and with our Soul mates, these connections bring passion, abundance, prosperity and excitement.  But, Mars can also bring power struggles and Jupiter just wants to be free...free from contracts and responsibility.  


If Uranus, Neptune or Pluto is communicating with you or your partner’s Venus, Mars, Sun or Moon, you could feel such an intense connection, that you’re practically reading each others’ minds.  However, that kind of connection can make everyday life very difficult. You may feel like your Soul mate is actually inside your head, that you have no boundaries, that you're constantly undergoing some dramatic transformation because of your Soul mate, and those feelings of passion can quickly turn into disruption, and then resentment. 

Your Astrological soul mates are meant to be enjoyed for who they are, but not always to be enjoyed for a lifetime of domesticated bliss.  Yes, some people may find a soul mate in their life partner.  But most of the time, those passionate connections we make with others through Uranus, Neptune and Pluto are meant for us to learn to grow.

Part of that growth is knowing when the lesson is learned and it’s time let go. 

And once you do let go, and you’ve gone your separate ways, but you still find you are experiencing the love you had for your Soul Mate even after you have parted, the love you had between you is something that actually WILL last forever.

And when you can accept your relationships for what they are, or what they were, without trying to turn them into something they were never meant to be, that's Unconditional Love.